it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
There's even glitter on my cock...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
