I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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