I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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