Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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