i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He told me they were just razor bumps!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
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