Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
