Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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