Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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