i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
