I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
