i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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