This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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