And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
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He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
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i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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