people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
