The maid of honor just puked.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
