Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
