one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
