if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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