I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
