I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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