seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
