I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
