i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
