He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
