why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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