i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
