Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize