so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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