it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
