whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
