wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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