chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
