Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
