he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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