Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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