Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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