So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
