thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
