I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize