Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
sex in a hospital.. check
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
