U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
