Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
