Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
