if you like me you must not know who I am
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
