dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
