is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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