I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
