I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
