i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
