i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
