So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
