turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
