Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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