The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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