I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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