My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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