okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
