ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
