I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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