Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
