I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
