I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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