I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
