he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
