I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
