Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
