I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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