I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
