Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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