How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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